Sailing on a Sea of Memories

Knocking the wind out of my own lungs with a memory 

The savage torch of a life only imagined

Not ever lived

Not in truth just in imagination

Crushing my hopes and dreams 

with my own beliefs that it will fall 

whether I push it over or not

You never knew how much it hurt

How much you hurt me

How it still hurts even now

And that life is gone

Gone forever

Never a chance of it again

Knocking the wind out of sails in a ship that sank 

Knocking on a door with no one there to answer

Because you left with her and forgot I existed

Because I am deeper and wider and stronger and sadder and wiser 

and much more fucking wicked since you left 

and I did not let you return

Because there is no return from that

There is nothing to return to

Knocking the memory out of my mind 

Forgetting the story even as I write it down

Halfway through the poem

I wonder who I was talking about

What was I even saying?

I don’t know

I guess we will never know.